Knight's Regrets (Past Life Healing) QHHT
This is a QHHT session transcript. My client wanted to find out what is the underlying cause of arguments with her partner. They both love each other deeply but they argue about the silliest things and when they do, she feels a sharp pain in her right arm. The pain has been getting stronger lately and was bothering her entire right arm and neck. She also had other concerns & questions which were addressed in her session but the core of her session was this beautifully uncovered life story of the English knight. I hope you enjoy it.
JULIA: Tell me what is happening?
CLIENT: I see a thick fog all around, it’s been here for some time. It’s frustrating because it’s making the battle hard. I am on a battlefield. I’m fully armed. This has been a heavy battle. My right arm hurts, I’m injured, but I still carry my sword and my shield in the other hand. The fog has made this fight very difficult. Now I’m walking around fumbling over the bodies and the fog. It’s so thick and cold.
I’m aware that there is a solder fallen who is crying out in pain. I feel like it’s my partner in this life. I feel like I haven’t finished him off. I feel like I was battling him and I haven’t finished him off. He is calling out to me. I can see him. I’m the one who mortally injured him but I didn’t finish him off.
JULIA: What happens next?
CLIENT: It feels wrong but I leave him there and I walk off. I don’t finish him off. I’ve had enough. I feel like I can’t. I feel angry that I have shed so much blood, now I’m injured and I just want to get out of here. My arm, my upper shoulder is heavy. We have been fighting for days.
JULIA: We will come back to this scene but now I want you to move backward to see when this
battle was planned. You are leaving this scene behind now, …. tell me what you see.
CLIENT: I’m in some big stone hall room, there is a big marble table, stone table. We have gathered around it. There is a big map rolled out on the table. Few of us looking at it. It’s fighting over a land, of course, territory. I feel like we are English and we are fighting over French land. I think we are on French soil. I feel like I am the one that’s got the most battle knowledge, I am consulted. I must be a commander of some kind. I feel very battle weary. I am not young, not too old either.
JULIA: I’m curious to know about your attire, can you have a look and describe it for me, please?
CLIENT: It’s a silver-colour metal, I feel like an armadillo, it’s got section over section over section overlapping. As I move, it’s noisy, it clatters a lot and underneath it, there are all these plates, attached to the metal like a mesh. And the mesh is against all I got. Long underwear underneath. I feel the pressure of the armor against my skin as there is this mesh with heavy plates. But I feel it has improved. Each time they give me a new one when I dress for the battle, it’s better every time. But my right arm has been injured so many times. I’ve killed so many men!
JULIA: Do you feel strong enough to go to the next battle?
CLIENT: I feel tired, I feel like I don’t want to do it anymore. It doesn’t achieve anything. All these lives lost just for the bit of a land we win. And then we battle again and lose it again and then we battle again and we win it again and it’s just back and forth back and forth. All these lives lost.
I want to go home, see my trees, I don’t want to be on a battlefield.
JULIA: You are leaving this scene behind and I want you to go to the time when you were home. Tell me about your home. What do you see?
CLIENT: It’s a stone home, it’s close to the village, part of the village but in a nice part of it. On the hill, looking down on the village. Many trees and a big garden. It’s a sturdy home. Bigger than the most. It’s got a front door and a back door. Garden all around.
JULIA: I wonder who is taking care of the garden.
CLIENT: My wife does a little bit of care for the garden but she gets help. We can afford help. There is food… My wife, because I’m a soldier we have a better life than most in the village. We have children. Two older daughters and a son. My wife does things she enjoys with them and the rest she leaves for the helpers to do. It’s a comfortable life. Children have lessons…
JULIA: How do you feel about being a soldier?
CLIENT: I like the lifestyle it gives them; my wife likes it. But she doesn’t worry about me as much as I would hope when I am away. She likes it when I am away, because when I’m home, I guess I bring my worries home with me and it changes the atmosphere. I wasn’t aware of this before, but as I watch her now, I see she is different when I’m not around, she can do whatever she likes when I’m not around. That makes me sad. I would have hoped she would enjoy me being home more. I think I feel the children are a little nervous around me as well. I don’t feel I am threatening or anything like that but they just don’t know me when I’m away so much. That makes me sad too. They call me Papa but I feel like it takes them a long time to get used to me and then I go again. I think I must spend a lot more time away at war than at home. But I do love it here, the greenery, so many trees, flowers and soft energy. I like the softness of my home. I love my home.
JULIA: Do you recharge your energy when you are home?
CLIENT: I try but it’s never long enough, I always must go back to the battle.
JULIA: How do you know when you must go?
CLIENT: A messenger comes. I can feel it anyway, but a messenger comes. Just as I get back to the swing of the family life and I relax, I start to get anxious and sure enough, the messenger comes. With each battle, my body gets more tired and sore.
JULIA: I would like you to now close the scene of your home and I want you to move to another day & time when something important is happening. Tell me where are you?
CLIENT: I am on the ground and I am being dragged by my ankles. I can feel my armor underneath me scraping the earth. I feel very heavy. Only vaguely aware of what’s going on. I think I’ve gone in a battle. I feel like I didn’t fight as well as usual. I didn’t fight to protect my own life. In a way, I kind of want this to be my last battle. I remember asking to be released but the answer was no.
JULIA: Who is dragging you?
CLIENT: Someone who feels young and strong. English side. I feel respect and admiration from him towards me. I am being dragged to the edge of the battle under a tree, for safety I think. Now he’s gone back to the battle, this is not the time to tend to the wounded. Most of the wounded die in the battle before they can be assisted. But this man I sense he knows me and I know him too, I probably trained him I feel.
JULIA: What injuries do you have?
CLIENT: I have a very sore wound to the gut area. I have no energy. Also, injury to my groin area, I am losing a lot of blood. They know to cut there; people bleed out if you cut them there. I just pass out from bleeding… (Very long exhale)
JULIA: Whatever happened has happened and you are now back in consciousness, where are you?
CLIENT: I am hovering over my body, I see me lying there under the tree, such a bloody mess. I’ve taken so much blood, it’s very fitting when I lose all of my blood and die.
JULIA: I want you to look back on this life and tell me what have you learned from it?
CLIENT: I’ve learned that fighting achieves nothing. What a sad way to acquire wealth to support a family. There is no glory in it.
JULIA: What did you learn about family?
CLIENT: You need to be around for a family. You can’t expect close connection, the affection of your wife, you can’t expect your kids to open to you when you are gone so much. They only see one aspect of you when you around for such a short time. All they see is battle weary, tired, stern, grumpy old man. You can’t expect them to love you.
JULIA: What else do you feel?
CLIENT: I still feel guilty. Usually, when I mortally wound someone I always finish them off. That moment I had a moment of choice to put this man out of his pain, to finish him off quickly. It’s almost as if I have put all my resentments and took it out on him. Doing inhumane thing. I don’t know what happened. Hopefully, someone else came by and finished him off.
JULIA: I want you to connect to the soul of this young soldier. Tell me when you see him.
CLIENT: I am hearing and seeing the word curse, I feel like he, I’m not sure if he cursed me or I cursed myself through guilt. I would like to end the curse of course on his side and my side. It was done through pain and ignorance, through anger, accumulated misplaced anger. But really, we were brothers, we were one, fighting someone else’s war.
(Very emotional crying), I’ve killed so many! I felt trapped, I knew better but I was trapped. My family would lose their lifestyle, I would have lost my position, it was treasonous to quit. All that hate I felt towards myself, I used to hate those that I fought. But really, I was hating myself for leading myself into a situation where I had to lead armies. I’m so tired of battle, so tired of hating myself. I want forgiveness for all the souls I took. Thousands, … thousands! (Crying) I feel compassion for them, their families, their children’s’ children. I made wows to atone for that.
They know I’m sorry. But this one man, I do need to ask his forgiveness I can then forgive myself.
JULIA: Can you see his soul in front of you?
CLIENT: It’s my partner! I’m looking at him, It’s his face! (Crying) I am sorry I have wounded you like that, I am sorry I’ve let you there suffering, I am sorry that your family went on without you after that, that your children went on fatherless and your wife without a husband. I ask for this curse to be broken that there will only be love between us and our families and our children’s children and between our countries. Beautiful compassion between our worlds.
We have put down our swords and the earth has swallowed them. (Big sighs and a big cry out loud) Ah, I am so relieved. (Crying…sobbing). I will never be a soldier again!
JULIA: You did well, the curse is broken, there will be no more fighting, only love.
CLIENT: (Big sigh of relief), I see the earth where the swords were swallowed, white birds are flying out from the light! I see white light everywhere around me. It’s so peaceful. (Taking deep breaths)
JULIA: We are asking this light to heal all the wounds, every single one of them. There is no more need for them, they’ve served their purpose. There is only love.